Without You
by kimi-chan1
Summary: a Kogure POV songfic... slight angst and yaoi... Kogure contemplates on what went wrong... please review ne? ^_^


TITLE: Without You  
PAIRING: KoMit  
GENRE: slight angst, Drama, Yaoi, Songfic, POV  
RATING: PG-13  
PART: 1/1  
WARNING: mushy parts and... i dunno.. it just suckz..  
DISCLAIMER: SD's babelicious boys are not mine... *sigh*  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Konnichiwa minna-san! heehee... im here yet again with another KoMit fic... Heehee... Anyway... this fic is dedicated to my Kooky family, Yen-nee, Ryouga-nii, Nicky-nii, Charon-nee, Fufu-nee, Freb-nee, Keax-chan, Madiha-chan, Nalesko-chan, Taiyou-chan, Mayumi-chan, Juno-chan and Jun-kun... Also to my mikos, Hana-sama and Akira14-sama, to my fellow AkaMitKo and KoshSen no Seishis and to my Ko-seme no Seishis. ^_^

BTW... this is like a sequel to Trapped... but this time.. its Kogure's POV.  
  
It was still dark outside. Silent and still. The atmosphere is hollow and empty. Just like what Kogure Kiminobu felt like after he opened his eyes.

*I wonder what time it is?* he thought groggily. His bedside clock indicated that it was only 5am.  
"Argh! So damn early!" Kogure grumbled as he sat up on his bed. When he switched on his lamp, a picture on his bedside table caught his eye. Two happy faces smiled at him from the photo, like they didn't have a care in the world.

"Hisashi-kun... I miss you.." he whispered to himself, still staring at the framed photograph and picked it up.

~~  
_It feels like a lifetime  
A thousand days had passed by since I held you  
Close to me...  
If I could see that smile from my friend  
I know that I could live again  
I need you... here with me  
~~_

It felt like a dam just opened and flooded Kogure with emotions he kept so well-hidden. Emotions he had tried so hard to fight to remain strong and not break down. With a quick motion, he put the picture back to its original place, facedown. Then Kogure took a deep breath and went to the bathroom, shaking his head on the way, as if to remove all the thoughts that keep fleeting through his mind.

As he entered the bathroom, a musky scent greeted Kogure. He inhaled deeply basking in the smell he loved so much.

*Hisashi-kun,* Kogure thought. This time, he couldn't take it anymore. Kogure fell into a heap on the floor and weeped.

~~  
_Heaven knows what to say  
Even though for right now you're so far away  
I hope and I pray  
Somewhere in your heart I'll always stay  
  
Boy, lately... my sun doesn't shine without you  
Never noticed what it feels like to be without you  
Feels like I took my last step and my last breath  
And my life... ending  
Had to say just what I was feeling boy  
Coz my sun doesn't shine  
Sun doesn't shine without you.  
~~_

As Kogure walked on the school grounds of Shohoku that morning, he met some of his teammates on the basketball team.

"Yo, Megane-kun! Ohayo! Nyahahaha! You should be grateful because you were greeted by the tensai! Nyahahahahaha!" Sakuragi half-shouted boisterously.  
"Ohayo, Sakuragi-kun," Kogure replied half-heartedly, before walking away.  
  
On the way to the high school building, Kogure was looking on the ground as he walked, his mind so deep in his thoughts. He didn't notice another figure walking towards him half-asleep. As they neared each other, Kogure looked up just in time to come face to face with Rukawa's chest.

"Hn. Kogure-sempai. Ohayo," Rukawa said monotonously.  
"Oh! Gomen nasai Rukawa-kun! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," Kogure apologized, fixing his glasses which were thrown askew.  
"It's OK," Rukawa said before walking away.  
"Ja ne," Kogure said even though Rukawa was already out of earshot. His mind has wandered again.  
  
Suddenly, his eyes caught sight if bluish-black hair among the throng of students in the hallway. The next second, he found himself staring straight at Hisashi Mitsui's eyes. Mitsui looked surprised as their eyes locked. Just as Kogure was about to mouth hello, Mitsui broke their eye contact and disappeared into the crowd.

"Hello," Kogure finished to himself dejectedly.

~~  
_This is more for me, than for you  
I finally see there's no substitute for what we had  
Do you know how much I love you?  
And what we shared, I can't forget  
Boy, a love like yours I'll never let slip away  
Just promise that you'll stay.  
~~_

It was a surprise how Kogure managed to go through his classed before lunch that day. Usually during his break times, he hangs out with Akagi and the rest of the team. But he couldn't handle being in the same table with his former koi. So instead he went to the rooftop and stayed there to think. 

*It's all my fault. I shouldn't have been so damn possessive. I should have realized that he feels suffocated in our relationship. If I had known it earlier, maybe I could have done something, for us not to end like this. What's wrong with me?!* Kogure thought sadly.

~_FLASHBACK_~

"Don't ever leave me OK?" Kogure had asked Mitsui as they sat on the couch a week before, watching a video. His arm was around Mitsui's shoulders.

Mitsui just stayed quiet. Kogure found this odd because his koi usually responds lovingly whenever he asks that question.

"Hisashi-kun? Daijobu desu ka?" Kogure asked, concerned.  
"Hai. It's just that... I have something to tell you," Mitsui replied, not quite looking at Kogure straight in the eye.  
"What is it?" he asked, wrapping his arm more tightly on Mitsui.

Slowly, Mitsui took Kogure's hand and removed Kogure's arm from his shoulder. His koi just stared at him, dumbfounded.

"I wanna break up."

Kogure's heart shattered. He never thought he'd hear those words from Mitsui.

"Na.. nani?! Where the hell did that come from?!" Kogure said, his voice rising.  
"I can't take it anymore. You're just too possessive. And you get angry over the silliest things, you always make me do things that I don't really wanna do. AND you keep me apart from my friends!" Mitsui said.  
"But are they more important than me?! You don't need them! We have each other!"  
"You're wrong! Every person needs their friends. They cheer you up when your down and they understand what you're going through if you have a problem."  
"But... I do that too ne?"  
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME! You're my problem! I need them to cheer me up because of you!" Mitsui shouted frustratedly at his narrow-minded koibito.

Kogure could hardly believe his ears. No.... This isn't happening.  
  
"You're kidding right? Haha.. You got me going there for awhile," Kogure laughed, hoping against hope that Mitsui really was joking.

But Mitsui's face was deadly serious.

"Goodbye, Min-kun. Even though I still love you---"  
"Then what's wrong?! We can still make it work," Kogure pleaded. "I can change!"  
"No. You already said that before! And I believed you then! How foolish I was. I finally realized that you will never change..."

With that, Mitsui stood up and said his final words to Kogure.

"I can't take it anymore. Sayonara."

~_END OF FLASHBACK_~

~~  
_Have you ever seen a flower without her bloom  
Seen the starless night without the moon  
Well that's me without you  
So come back and turn my nights into days.  
_~~

"Oh Hisashi-kun. This time I'm really going to change. But how can I prove it to you if you're not here with me?"  
Tears sprang from Kogure's eyes as he thought yet again about the fact that Mitsui is now out of his life. For good.

*I guess it's too late ne? I'm so stupid. I let my one true love slip away from my grasp. I love you so much, Hisashi-kun* he thought sorrowfully, not knowing what to do next. Not wanting to move on.

Finally the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. Kogure hastily wiped his away his tears, took a deep breath and headed for the door.

~~  
_Heaven knows what to say  
Even though for right now you're so far away  
I hope and I pray  
Somewhere in your heart I'll always stay.  
And gonna tell you and show you  
Do whatever I can do to get back to you  
_~~

After school, Kogure immediately headed home. As he was walking towards his house, he heard somebody calling his name.

"Kogure-kun! Matte ne!"

*That voice...*  
  
"Whew! I'm glad I caught up to you," Mitsui said, out of breath.

Kogure couldn't believe his eyes. Mitsui... His Mitsui was standing right beside him.  
*Maybe he wants to make up?* he thought, his heart pounding loudly against his chest.  
"Uhm.. Ano... How are you?" Mitsui asked awkwardly.  
"Not fine...." came the reply.  
"Oh.. Well.. I hope you feel better soon... So.. Uhm.." Mitsui hesitated before continuing. Then he stuck out his hand and offered it to Kogure. "Friends?"  
*Huh? What's he talking about? I thought.... We...* Kogure thought, confused.  
"Demo... i thought you wanted to make up?" he said instead.  
"Eh?" Mitsui's face was filled with astonishment.  
"Please Hisashi... I need you... I can't live without you," Kogure said tearfully, attempting to put his arms around Mitsui just like he used to do. "I miss you so much."  
Mitsui took a step backward and Kogure's hands dropped to his sides.  
"Yes you can live without me. There are many other guys out there that would love to be with you. That would love you more than me."  
"But you're the one I love!" Kogure cried out.  
"I'm sorry, Kogure..."

Mitsui cast one last look on him before turning his back on Kogure and ran.

"Hisashi-kun!" Kogure shouted at Mitsui's retreating back. But it was no use. They were over.

As Kogure lay on his bed that night, he reminisced on all the good time he and Mitsui had. Each scene that crosses his mind felt like a knife piercing through his heart. Kogure sobbed on his bed, in the comfort of his cold, lonely room. As he tried to sleep, Kogure couldn't help wishing to never wake up. Because waking up means he had to face another day. Yet another day without Mitsui. Another day... alone.

~~  
_Boy lately... my sun doesn't shine without you  
Never noticed what it feels like to be without you  
Feels like I took my last step and my last breath  
And my life... ending  
Had to say just what I was feeling boy  
Coz my sun doesn't shine  
Sun doesn't shine... Without you..  
~~_

Owari.

A/N: Was it too long and dragging? too dramatic? Haha... thought so.. Please review ne???? It would be greatly appreciated! Arigatou.

~~  
Kimi-chan  
Kinky 7 of Kooky 12.2 ^^  
Ko-seme no Miko  
http://www.geocities.com/kate5_ollie_pb  
http://www.geocities.com/kimi_chan28

KoshSen no Seishi  
http://digilander.libero.it/Akira14/

AkaMitKo no Seishi  
http://www.geocities.com/akamitko


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